Stain, I was a soldier once

Stain

By Felicia Whatley

I was a soldier once, so young and so strong

I was a soldier once; I ran forever and did push-ups for fun

I was a soldier once, and I thought I would be forever, but I was wrong

As a soldier I remember crawling through the mud; it was in my face, my clothes, all over the place

As a soldier, I lay in my fox hole in the rain or snow, I was shivering, I was cold

As a soldier, I could accomplish anything, and then I got old

I was a soldier once, and I miss it so much

I was a soldier once, I could go days not knowing if there would be dinner or lunch.

I was a soldier once, I felt the quake of the battlefield and the deafening sound of hate

I was a soldier once, and I though I tried not to, I could relate.

As a soldier I was taught to never wear my emotions on my sleeves

As a soldier I fought to keep a straight face, but sometimes it was impossible

As a soldier I was supposed to be tough and never ever give up

As a soldier I could topple mountains, blow through buildings, everything was possible

I was a soldier once and stark eyed and bushy tailed I wanted to trust my comrades

I was a soldier and soldiers never hurt their fellow soldiers, I would always be happy

I was a soldier once and I would never leave a fallen comrade behind,

I was a soldier and once I carried a girl 11 miles, she was cut up real bad

I was a soldier once and I cared for every living soul

As a soldier I thought this is me, this is who I am and will always be

As a soldier I took an oath to put others needs before my own

As a soldier I put my team before my needs even if I was hungry or couldn’t hardly breathe

As a soldier there was no concept of time, just reality, however long it took

I was a soldier once, and my uniform used to fit

I was a soldier once and I love my country and every place they would send me to help

I was a soldier once and I believed in the mission and my mission, how can I help thee

I was a soldier once, and it is still a part of me.

As a civilian I still hit the deck when a jar breaks at the grocery store.

As a civilian I don’t have to count carbs or worry about physical fitness tests

As a civilian, I miss the me I used to be.

As a civilian I look for my side arm when I roll out of bed. Should I buy one?

As a civilian I wonder still what it means to feel normal

As a soldier and a civilian I lay awake at night and think and think and worry

As a soldier and a civilian I dream of being there, part of something more important than me

 I was a soldier once and I did my duty with pride, there nothing cooler than being a G.I.

I was a soldier once and the money for school was good

I was a soldier once and I would wear my uniform in public if I had to, and people would thank me

I was a soldier once and wondered if I would ever feel free

As a civilian I don’t panic before putting on a uniform

As a civilian I can sleep in and be warm and out of the rain

As a civilian the Army will never leave me, it sits on my soul like a stain

As a civilian I dream of coming back in

As a soldier I never knew if coming to work meant getting hurt

As a soldier I tried to stay super organized and in a route

As a soldier I would get nervous but I would say what need to be said

As a soldier I was a leader but I never got promoted

As a civilian I don’t allow superiors treat me like that ever again

As a civilian, I wish my body was in shape like it used to be

As a civilian I am trying to make it in the real word

As a civilian I make $300 a week as a newspaper journalist

As a civilian, I don’t think I’ll ever dig myself out of debt and get ahead

As a civilian I live with my parents and wish things would change

As a civilian, when I sleep I dream of being an important soldier once again.

I was a soldier and I never will be again.