I miss the military

In writing my Veterans' Day articles for class and the Mass Media, I was overcome with grieve knowing this will be the first Veterans' Day in 11 years that I will not be in uniform. I miss it. I really do. Being a Soldier was part of who I was. It was an idenity, purpose, and an elite club all rolled into one. Sometimes I feel like it was really unfair to get a medical discharge.

So far, I have not received Compensation and Pension for my disabilities. Well I do get 10% for the lung damage, but that is nothing. My appeal for my other disabilities has been pending since 2009. Isn't that ridiculous? And times are tough. I could really use the money.

I heard the Army National Guard is now offering to pay off $50,000 of student loans for a 6 year part-time commitment. I am focusing on getting myself back in shape, but that sounds so enticing. But what unit would I go to? There is only one Public Affairs unit in the state and I deployed with them. I don't miss being in that unit. I don't understand why it is so difficult to take care of the troops. I always drempt of becoming an officer and being the type of leader I always wished I had.

Is my time in the military really over? I was honorably discharged in July and it is still difficult to swallow. I always wanted to be a combat journalist. When I was embedding and escorting journalists from all over while I was in Baghdad, I wished I had their job. I was a bit envious. Now with the troop withdrawls, I think it is too dangerous to do that job.

Perhaps now at the ripe age of 30, it is time to start a civilian career. I have been thinking of mixing my military background with a government job. Maybe something covert. I wonder if I will always see those in uniform and sigh. They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. When the window opens, I hope I am able to move on. God Bless America and Thank you troops for your service.