Writing to Win Readers

Felicia Whatley

Writing to Win Readers

22 September 2007

            1. The Post’s Fort Dix’s post paper of September 21, 2007’s editorial examines the value of New Jersey’s land and how National Public Lands Day is a celebration for Fort Dix and surrounding communities to give back to one of Fort Dix’s natural resources at Lake of The Woods Sep 29 by Shawn Morris, Fort Dix Public Affairs staff.

            “Land in New Jersey is valuable, as anyone who has purchased a piece of the Garden State knows. But land should be measured not only in dollars and cents, but in its value as a community resource.”

            Does the editorial stimulate, explain and advocate? It really doesn’t pull the reader in until the second paragraph. The lead paragraph is kind of empty, but it gets better.

            “During the National Public Lands Day celebration from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Lake Of The Woods Sept. 29, Team Dix and members of the surrounding communities will have a chance to give something back to one of Fort Dix’s natural treasures.”

            Yes, this educates that there is a holiday coming up to embrace the public lands and invites the reader to participate in the event. It ties in the opening paragraph adding value to something everyone who lives around here values. Land is expensive but it is more than just the money value that is important. From “Public Lands Day Calls for Caring” Soldiers and civilians have a benchmark at Lake of The Woods.  SEA checklist checked off.

           

2. “Army Helps Former Soldiers Transition into Civilian Life” by Ryan Morton, Public Affairs Staff in The Post’s Sep 21, 2007 issue explores the uncertainty of going from military to civilian life.

            “When a person serves in the military, he or she has to consider a number of variables regarding his or her future to make some key life decision. A major decision is whether to remain in the military or transition to the civilian world following completion of his or her service. For many, this can be a very difficult and, at times, agonizing decision to make.”

            This article gives light to the Army Career and Alumni Program and Transition Assistance Program informing the Soldiers that there are programs that can help them transition out of the military. The story did stay close to the news because there is Soldiers de-mobing not just deploying, from Fort Dix. There is a lot of stress in leaving the military lifestyle and going back to the civilian life.

The topic is good and it is very pertinent to Fort Dix’s The Post paper where the readership is thousands of Soldiers moving in and out of this instillation weekly. After the deployments or military contracts are over, many of us ask “What now?” It is good to know there are programs in place that can help educate of resources available to veterans.